i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
