Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
