i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
