Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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