Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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