I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
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It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Shame - the story of my life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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