forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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