I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
