Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
