we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well I just put wine in my tea
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
