The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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