He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
