Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
