): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
