Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
