what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
