I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
