You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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