I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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