This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
