ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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