So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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