You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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