? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
