Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
