I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
