Sponge bath it is.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
