I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
