I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
