But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
