maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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