Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
