I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bet he comes in French.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize