Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
