Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
