i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
