you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize