I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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