also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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