I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We have started to decorate penises.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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