The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize