She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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