Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize