you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
