Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
