he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
