i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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