I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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