my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Who died my cat blue again?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
