my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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