I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
