I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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