Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
