whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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