she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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