Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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