Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
