All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
