what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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